Welcome to the community, Ix10n10n (is there an actual name I can call you? I'm not sure what this username is all about
)! I enjoyed reading your story. Yours is a similar one to mine and many others I am sure. Since KaM was, for practical purposes, strictly single player for so many years, I believe that players began to grow over confident in their abilities, as defeating AI doesn't require as much game knowledge as it takes knowledge about how to manipulate the coded behaviors (see Cmowla's videos for example
) Therefore, when seeing KaM Remake online videos, players such as yourself are overwhelmed by what is possible!
I am working a bit on my YouTube channel in hopes that it will bring new players to the game, I've already been somewhat successful in helping people get better, but I want to do more. I want to release a video of "How to be a pro in KaM in five minutes." An exaggeration, of course, but it will cover a lot of small details that will get your game better quickly.
For now; though, the best thing to do is watch replays. Since KaM is rather slow paced, you have an advantage of being able to follow what players do rather easily. You'll also need good opponents to play against. You'll never get better by playing people who are worse than you. Please join the offical KaM Teamspeak server at kamts.eu and you'll find a good environment for playing games
I never really answered your question though. You want to know how to make yourself more confident going into multiplayer. Well I recommend this: Play the map Golden Cliffs or Shadow Realm by yourself (single player mutiplayer if you will) and by 60 minutes, try to obtain more than 50 quality troops (no militia). A good army would be 20 bowmen 6-10 knights and 15 sword fighters. If you can reach that army then you are on your way to becoming a very strong player. A guideline for getting this army would be:
-Have gold production running before 17 minutes. Have 2nd gold smelter before you run out of gold comepletely
-Have 2nd sawmill running before you run out of beginning timber supplies
-For every sawmill you have, make sure you have at least one woodcutter who is "cutting." By "cutting" I mean a woodcutter who is able to actually produce tree trunks. If your sawmills ever stop working, even for a minute, you are wasting valuable time. Generally, you should have 2x woodcutters for how many sawmills you have.
-Have iron armor/weapon production running by 30:00. By this I mean your first armory worksop should be running before 30:00. How you continue your iron production is up to you, but I recommend watching replays to see how others do it.
-Farms! How you build your farms is up to you. Some players make them earlier and have later iron, some make iron really fast and compromise on farms. Generally your first farm should go up right after your sawmill. Depending on starting food, you may need to focus more on producing food, but generally you want to obtain 5 farms, two swine farms, and a stable by 42:00ish. Eventually make 7 farms to support an additional swine farm and a mill + bakery.
-Tannery running by 40:00. Your leather and wooden weapon production should be running before 50:00. I like having 4 sawmills, 3 armory worksops, and 3 weapon workshops by 55:00.
-Two schools and recruit production running by 43:00.
This is a basic build for a standard army. You are not limited to this, but it is fairly easy to do. If you have trouble making food, then you can skip the stable and go 4 pig farms with 6 farms. This should make it easy to not starve as long as you have some fish, but you'll lack horses, which can be killer.
And remember to have fun! I know you hear it all the time, but it is a game and it is meant to be fun
Don't let the competitive spirit make you lose sight of that <3